What I do after everything collapses.

From running an organization to being a totally average student.

If something you hold accountable–so much that it attached to your identity (a job, a title, an experience)–suddenly disappear or goes to an end, what do you do next? How do you deal with the emptiness after?

My life collapsed in late march. I stopped running my organization, broke free from studying SAT. Those are the two things that occupied most of my time for the past two months. I devoted myself in them and not even spent a moment considering about anything else.

They were what I did to keep myself feel living: didn’t even bother to ponder about myself, my identity or my future, just run my org and study SAT then i should be fine :).

I kept it went that way over months and after I decided to opt out both of them, life felt…collapsed? Suddenly I had so much time but nothing to do. I felt empty. I felt falling behind.

I was still going to school and doing sport, still having a life of an average student. However, those were not what i attached myself to. I didn’t live for it.

I feel wrong when not doing anything. I am no longer running an organization–does it make me worse? Does it make me incompetent? Time is passing and without running for my org or studying for SAT makes me feel like I am not seizing the moments.

Yeah… those awkward feelings and thoughts occupied me for the first few weeks, but now I could finally say I somewhat got away with it because I get the flow and know what to do now, so I thought it would be cool to share it with you.

Here’s what to do after life (temporarily) collapses.

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Cleaning up the debris.

I find there’s no better time than this to do a mass reflection: to reassess all of my work and life. We don’t leave the mess after everything collapses. I would go look around and find anything valuable that can be used for the future.

Reflecting on the work I have done and on life, I identify what to keep rooting for and setting up the foundations.

Reassessing my work with learning portfolio

I like the concept of learning portfolio, where you emphasize less about titles and more about what you do and what you learn. Research have shown it is beneficial, and I personally like it because I think some of the projects I have done may be big inspirations to somebody else so it worths sharing.

I haven’t found an ideal time to do this, so I think building up my own learning portfolio while reassessing the projects I have done would be handy.

I haven’t finished it yet, but feel free to check it out here.

Link

To reassess my work, I use the three main parts: How it started, how it went, and what i learned from it. My goal is to define what are my motivations behind these initiatives, and what are something I could have done better in the future.

From these reflections, I can go on and figure out what I like and don’t like to do, as well as any learning domains that I want keep practicing on. Looking back at what you have created is also a way to create yourself.

Reassessing life

This is a pretty typical thing most people do. Look back at life goals, visions, mantras and evaluate whether things are going on the right track. Having a solid sense of what you want and need to accomplish is just as important as working towards it.

Sometimes I hold onto (or want) too many things, sticking to the goals will help me decide what I actually need.

I tell you earlier on that stop running my organization make me feel falling behind. The thing is, when I look back at my goals, I find out I have already seen it coming and have it down there. Moreover, I am not falling behind at all. I am crushing every goals that I have written out (yay?).

Turns out, have these things down to look back is a more valid way to reassess myself. How can it bad when I am being everything that myself earlier on could ever think of?

Reconstruct foundations.

Systems.

Building back the ruined systems is another big part I need to work on. I totally lose track of time and what is going on in my life. I miss deadlines, forget to do my homework, and miss events. Turns out, I stopped managing my time. I usually have everything written on my Google Calendar. Somehow I stop using it, so things start falling apart.

I am also terrible at prioritizing what to do. I waste energy and time doing things that could be done way later, and then don’t have enough space to complete what is actually need to be done.

These two things are perfect to practice during these breaks. Rebuilding back the systems that manage my life before I keep moving will prevent life from collapsing too often. Sometimes life collapses not because I am not doing well, but rather not managing it efficiently.

Purposed self-learning.

Purposed self-learning is the next step after I identify the learning domains from Cleaning the Debris. It is when you learning on your own, but with a clear purpose on what it’s for rather than entertainment and exploration.

Define the learning domain, what it’s for and set obvious goal is the key. You want to be able to vision what can you do as an outcome of this learning process. I think about this as I come across a pretty solid framework on how to self-learning yesterday.

I have been practicing self-learning by taking notes on articles and videos that I find interesting with no intentions or expectations on what I need to learn, so I am curious about how purposed self-learning will help.

It’s also a great chance to start practicing note-taking on Obsidian again. It’s been a long time :)

After all, life collapse doesn’t sound that bad.

I find it pretty exciting actually. Reflecting what you have done, tracking your goals, setting up mantras, systems, and finding something new to work on/learn.

The keys to deal with this are to keep my momentum and my head up. Keep learning and moving, excite myself with new things. Life may be a bit messy right now, but it won’t get better with grief.

What do you think about my plan? Do you have any suggestions of else I should do? Share it in the comment! I will try to keep you guys updated on my process :).

Cheers!